With A Name Like Smucker’s You’ve Got To Be Sad

April 2, 2013


Such a bummer about the Boycott.

Now I’m stuck with the Ralph’s brand of strawberry jam for the kid’s pb&j. I think it’s disgusting. They do, too. I find their sandwiches peeled apart with just the peanut butter side eaten.

Smucker’s Simply Fruit: no sugar, no artificial sweeteners, tastes like strawberries.

Ralph’s brand tastes like pectin. It has the texture of ham fat, and somehow, the manufacturer managed to make it stickier than other jam. Any other jam.

But, I wrote Smucker’s an email saying I was boycotting them because they gave thousands of dollars ($555,000) to defeat Prop 37—that would make GMO labeling mandatory in California.

So now I grieve for my favorite jam, as I stand alone in the grocery aisle, with “Simply Strawberry” staring me in the face as I reach for the Ralph’s brand – the only no-garbage jam on the shelf according to the ingredients list. Pectin isn’t bad for you. But without enough strawberries… pectin just doesn’t taste good by itself, otherwise there would be a pectin-only jam that people would be wild for. But no.

I’m so mad at Smucker’s for doing this to me.

Before you start saying that I brought this on myself, let me just add that these same big companies use healthier ingredients in duplicate products in Europe – because it is ILLEGAL to put the shit found in US food in their food.

Coke and Pepsi changed their caramel coloring formula just in California, because their caramel coloring gives people cancer, and they were threatened with having to put warning labels on their cans that are similar to cigarette warnings. (YES, drinking Coke/Pepsi is as bad for you as smoking.) Do you think they changed their formula in all 50 states because they found out their caramel coloring gives you cancer? No. Only in California.

So the next time you think a big company cares about you, and your well-being, and therefore they will just “regulate themselves” when they find out shit, go into the grocery store and read some ingredients lists.

Every time you see “Yellow 5,” “Yellow 6,” “Red 40” “Sodium Nitrate,” “Sodium Nitrite,” “Laurel Sulfate,” “PEG 80,” etc., etc., etc., please know that these companies don’t care if you live or die.

On another note, did you know that crude oil used to be given as medicine? The dose was one teaspoon, three times a day. Yum, yum.