Is Mitt Romney On Drugs?

October 31, 2012

Mitt could have used a little Visine before this event.

Below, note the crazed effort to look excited, yet he’s totally detached. 

photo: AP/Chris O’meara

Dude!

And, let’s not forget the first debate:

Dialated pupils under bright lights? That’s not natural.

 


Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney. Epic Rap Battles Round 2

October 22, 2012

An Evening of Political Discourse with Frank Rich and Fran Lebowitz

October 17, 2012

Two New Yorkers came to LA Monday night to wax political at USC’s Bovard Auditorium. “A State of the Union Conversation” with Frank Rich and Fran Lebowitz brought a lot of laughs and applause, which can happen in a large gathering of like-minded people hearing two very skilled speakers poke fun at Mitt Romney.

Frank Rich currently writes for New York Magazine, and was for many years an Op-Ed writer for the New York Times.

Fran Lebowitz has written for a gazillion publications on topics ranging from politics to pop culture.

During the Q&A, they were addressed by an actual undecided voter from Ohio – a USC student who will vote absentee in his home state.

The student’s conundrum, as he put it, was to weigh each man’s character and qualifications for the job, without being influenced by his parents.

First, Lebowitz offered to just tell the young man who to vote for. Then, she explained that the Presidential election isn’t about who you like, personally, it’s what they stand for. “If you’re for justice and equality…. you’ll vote for the Democrat. If you’re for eliminating the Capital Gains tax, vote for Romney.” Because that’s all Romney’s really promising to do, she said. “So, if you’re independently wealthy, vote for Romney, and drop out of school.”

Rich suggested the undecided voter look online at each party’s platform. There, you can read exactly what their positions are on a variety of issues. It’s not the people, it’s their policies.

But the kid still looked confused.

Some gems from the evening:

When talking about Medicare, and Social Security:

“Republicans don’t reform things, they end them.” (Fran Lebowitz)

“The country that Romney talks about is not this country, it’s a Country Club.” (FL)

“Democrats and Obama are afraid to say anything about [the car company bailout] and its successes.” (Frank Rich)

“Get the Kardashians to go to Afghanistan…” then people will know what’s happening there. (FL)


Butt-Chugging (aka Alcohol Enema) Sweeping the Nation?

October 13, 2012

 Assume the position! Illustration by enemabag.com

Yes, “butt-chugging:” a weird way to get drunk “faster.” Although, how fast can one stick a funnel up their behind?  Plus, this is not something one can do alone. So what’s the scenario, here? Close friends in the bathroom? A kinky party game? Apparently.

It’s a new trend in frat houses and other college-esque places of party-hood. So much so, that the web site, Inside Higher Ed, calls it a “New Booze Worry” for campuses across the country.  

The American desperation for inebriation is embarrassing. Is this really the only way to have fun? Maybe only in Tennessee…

 


“I think you’re using lawnmower repair to avoid intimacy.”

October 9, 2012

 

 

Cartoon and caption from the October 1, 2012 New Yorker magazine.


Romney Fires Big Bird

October 5, 2012

photo: Getty Images

During last night’s debate, Presidential hopeful Mitt “I love firing people”  Romney fired debate moderator Jim Lehrer “Sorry, Jim…”, and Big Bird: “I love Big Bird…but…” The Twittersphere went crazy – 17,000 tweets per minute mentioning Big Bird

Someone started an account called @FiredBigBird, which USA Today reported had almost 10,000 followers by 10pm. 

Marketplace asked, where does Big Bird fall on the economic scale: is he a 1%-er? 99%? Part of the 47%?

Their research revealed Big Bird’s origins: he’s a six-year-old foster child/bird. Nice, Mitt.

On another note: under the bright lights of a televised debate, why are Romney’s pupils dilated? (See above photo.)

graphic: Marketplace